Tamatoa's Glam Site

DUDE IM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW DOE. Moana tricked me by using some green thing to trick me into thinking it was another green thing and then she ran away when I thought she couldn’t run away from me! Gosh, she just keeps surprising me. 😡

Hey guys, Tamatoa here! Today I’m gonna be talking about how amazing my- hold on my mom is calling me for dinner. Hey guys, I’m back! Just remembered I don’t have a mom. Oh barnacles. I forgot what I was gonna talk about. 😦

Yo yo yo yo stop doing homework in my class you won’t pass your project looks like trash so receive some backlash you ain’t gonna succeed you know what I mean I’m an un-lean purple crabby beautiful machine now I’m gonna flipping scream cause you’re just so darn mean and

That’s all I wrote down so far I hope you enjoy it I spent like 10 hours thinking of what to rhyme machine with.

Today I saw Maui again. HE’S SCUM.

Back when I was just a drab little crab I was not able to gain the delicious specimens that I am am able to consume today. I just love free food!

“I was a drab little crab once.” — Tamatoa

I USED to be a drab little crab, but now I’m not.

Now I am beautiful and amazing and nobody can do anything to hurt me because no matter what the mean bullies say I will always be magnificent and shiny and no longer a drab little crab like I once was. The bullying mean people all look like sea food. Unbelievable rats. They’re just jealous that I used to be a drab little crab and now I’m not and they are still drab little crabs and did not become glam like me.